Joe Le Unlicenced Taxi

Last Saturday I was out near Old Street until the early hours, and as seems to be the norm round there, ended up getting one of those dodgy, unlicenced taxis to take me home. You know, the ones that are just some bloke in his car. My journey back was a bit of a nightmare, and things started badly when I realised the driver didn't know where we were headed. He also kept asking me if I was a policeman and was obviously very nervous at this prospect. I think he assumed that I was just waiting until the end of the journey before I leapt out of the car, flashed my badge and exclaimed "Taxi Police!" before pinning him down and calling for backup. Anyway, as we approached the scene of a serious accident near Old Street tube, he managed to knock a cyclist over, attracting the attention of about 20 police officers who were already there sorting out whatever mess it was. Amazingly, they just gave him a cheery nod and waved him on.

As I mentioned, he didn't seem to know where anything in London was so was using sat-nav to direct him. He reassuringly told me that he felt like he was just a robot fulfilling the demands of the sat-nav, with her reassuring womanly tones. Unfortunately, sat-nav didn't know about the existence of ths accident at Old Street tube, so sent us in circles for a bit. By the time he made it to mine (which involved ignoring most of sat-nav's instructions) I'd already mentally prepared my will. We came to a screeching halt with him doing some kind of Knight Rider skid that left us diagonally in someones front garden.

God bless London transport. Especially late at night, when it's at its best.